When Cane and Abel fell out, there was no Round Up to finish off cane.

Unlike Douglas Shire.

So what to do now, asks our deep thinking, gonzo town planners, as the sugar grass is gone?

First we tried Warren Entsch's GO ORGANIC plan, but it failed. 

Then came chocolate, orchards and energy, all to fail. 

So what next... sorghum, cows, or give up and grow ride-on lawnmowers?

When Skase dumped millions on us, we were suddenly headed upmarket, from thongs to White Shoes, only to go splat again, back to Crocs.

Next came the tidal wave of apartments pretending to be hotels, with kitchens rarely if ever used.

So what now? 

Airlie seems to be content as a Drinking Town with a Sailing Problem. 

At least we have the drinking part down pat. 

Or we could go like Byron Bay, but sadly millionaire wannabee hippies are not well suited to FNQ.

Or there is the Queenstown model,  the booming adventure sport haven. 

Sure, we don't have snow, but we could drop punters at the top of the Gorge, with a tractor inner tube and a medical kit.

Or we could try water skiing schools in the Daintree. 

At least you don't have to turn the boat around, if someone falls off.

A flying fox from Thornton's Peak to Cape Tribulation would be fun, so long as you had asbestos gloves.

Back in Port Douglas, the suffering marine industry is confused about whatever happened to the “Port”  bit. 

Is the Hervey Bay retirement village fog, slowly enveloping Douglas?

Is it bye bye, that fading idea of nightlife in Port Drugless? 

Maybe we should build parking spaces for mobility scooters?